The gazelleman is a rare breed. Often spotted at marathons, Ironman races and Whole Foods, these creatures only run while others rest.
When one sees a gazelleman in the wild, it's an incredible sight — the seamless gliding through the air and the perfect form — that invokes feelings of envy and awe.
Of course, a fair warning to any human runners: when waiting with one of these rare creatures at a stop light or when the gush of wind suddenly makes you think you can keep pace, just remember that after a block you will be so toast that the cheetah chasing the gazelle will go for you instead.
And yes, this is from personal experience (well except for the cheetah part — that would be strange in DC). Stopping tonight at a light, a gorgeous gazellewoman (even more rare) glided up to the corner. As she stood there waiting for traffic to pass, she almost hopped in front of a truck, nearly becoming a permanent hood ornament. To prevent the loss of such majestic grace, I yelled 'Watch out,' to which the gazellewoman paid a second of attention to me.
It was in that hot second that I felt I too could channel my inner gazelle and keep up or pass this creature. Sadly, after keeping up for a block, I was burned at the next light as the gazellewoman took off with her brown big curl hair and Santa hat blowing in the breeze — leaving me to truck it up the Hill.
While I don't usually admit defeat, it's not often a mere human runner can interact so closely with a gazellewoman.
For tomorrow's run, it's back to the normal pace that allows me to take in the Sights in My Nikes.
