The blog about what we experience in our everyday runs

Monday, January 9, 2012

15 reasons your blow-up Santa needs deflated

71 Days — 

The attic, basement, random closet and storage units (or a combination of all four) are getting lonely.

To those who continue to celebrate the holiday season weeks after the season end, please note that the blowup easter bunny, Batman costumes, the blowup turkey and the random pink flamingo miss their friends.

While the wreaths made us go ooohh and the santa wonderlands within in a plastic bubble made us go awwww, it's time to send Santa and Frosty on their 11 month vacation.

To encourage those of you who have not taken advantage of 3-day weekends, days off work, 60 degree weather or 30 degree weather, here's a few thoughts (in no particular order) on your yard junk

1. If your affinity for yard-blow ups is of any note, then one can only imagine what's kept on private display.
2. The reason you wore your parka on a 60 degree day had to do with the very realistic icicle lights hanging in front of your window.
3. The yard gnome and pink flamingo are jealous because you obviously love the candy canes more.
4. Is the stuff is free because if you follow the DC rule of thumb, if it's near the street overnight, it's fair game. And a free decorative reindeer is a whole lot cheaper off Maryland Ave than at Target's after Christmas sale.
5. Squirrels, birds and chipmunks are sick of the tourists and are eying the wreath over the door — especially the one with fruit in it (you know who you are on South Carolina Ave).

6. The yard gnome seeks revenge for further neglect and blocks
7. You get your StreetSense at your doorstep because the homeless man is now shacking it up with Mary and the kings. Sorry baby Jesus, it's time to share.
8. There are no more storage units left, forcing you to kick your eldest from the house for the extra storage space.
9. Your Jewish neighbors report you for a hate crime because Mr. Goldberg can't take the light-up Rudolph staring into his bedroom window anymore.
10. Frosty is losing his frost. In fact he melted and that's why you didn't have to water the lawn last week.
11. The pink flamingo now has two reasons to always move in front of the yard light motion sensor (1. His brother turned into flabongo and 2. He can only stay in the storage shed with the 4th of July Tea Party costumes for so long).
12. Your house will be the number one spot on the February tacky lights tour.
13. You are the first house in the District to be featured on "redneck front yard."
14. The lights burn out in Merry Christmas to display "Me y r mas" and people will start believing there is a new Mexican restaurant in town. Better get the Queso dip ready.
15. You have nothing new to put out for Christmas in July because you never put away Christmas in December.

And I thought of this list on a 25 minute run. Imagine if I had longer.

Don't be tacky, don't be lazy and let people ooh and aww over your house for its true Capitol Hill neighborhood beauty.

On another note, can't wait for Valentine's day decorations to arrive because seeing Cupid marry Santa and Frosty would be quite a Sight in My Nikes.

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