102 Days —
If Allstate is looking for a Mayhem stand-in, I'm their man.
While I lack the pink weights and headband, I filled the the blindspot or the teenage texter (I won't go as far as to say the hot runner) mayhem role quite well last night.
Unlike the popular commercials, these wrecks didn't fully matriculate. Nevertheless, let's recap the evening's near-misses:
1. Whilst booking it through a Senate parking lot, a tourist got confused, stopped, then, when presented with the option of plowing into a parked car or merging into a moving car, chose to merge into a moving car (Perhaps DC can enact a 'No Picture Taking While Driving Ban'). This moving car--a 100% American bred Ford Truck--didn't take to that thought too kindly, revved up that V8 and nearly rammed into the poor tourist attempting to merge.
After the first near-miss, Mayhem hopped off the tourist's blindspot and hitched a ride on the front of a cab.
2. Attempting to parallel park when a cab is coming up in the rear-view mirror proves more challenging and dangerous than it may look. Again, another near miss, as the parallel parker halted its reverse as the cabby laid on its horn--and the accelerator.
Like Allstate's Mayhem, I jumped off the near wrecks, untouched myself and just kept running to see the destruction that comes next.
Word to the drivers of DC; apparently I bring some Mayhem with me. So driver's beware as I take in the Sights in my Nikes.